


the joys of retail

by stilinscry



Series: nct drabbles [21]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Lowercase
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-06 00:19:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11589147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stilinscry/pseuds/stilinscry
Summary: all of these drabbles are based on actual shit that has happened to me at work





	1. le poulet

**Author's Note:**

> this one time i did find a half eaten chicken on a shelf and it was gross

“hey, guess what,” chenle says as he walks up to the help desk. jisung doesn’t like the way his hands are hidden behind his back. 

“what?”

“noooo, you gotta guess. that’s the whole point,” he whines before shooting jisung his patented puppy dog look and he sighs. 

“umm, you overwatered all of the plants and they grew into triffids and now we’re going to die?” chenle shakes his head. “the kids section came to life a la toy story and they’re running amok in stationary?” another shake of his head? “did timmy fall down the well?” yet another shake. “well then, i got nothing.”

“ughhh you’re no fun and what actually happened is way cooler than any of that.”

jisung strongly doubts that anything could be cooler than a real life toy story but he prompts for chenle to continue. 

“i found a, wait for it, a half-eaten rotisserie chicken on the shelf in cleaners,” he says and then he pulls it from behind his back, brandishing it like a weird meaty trophy. it’s been left in it’s bag, thankfully, but it’s clearly beened gnawed at and jisung can’t tell whether he’s more grossed out or just confused. 

“where did they even get that from?” he asks, like that’s the most important piece of information he needs. chenle laughs and then steps closer to wiggle the chicken in jisung’s face. 

“i’ve got absolutely no clue, but look,” he says, and suddenly the chicken is way too close to his face for comfort. “you can see all the bite marks in it.” and he’s right, you can. 

“gnarly.”

“i know right,” chenle exclaims, shooting jisung a beaming smile. “it’s still kinda warm too. you wanna feel?”

and jisung is totally about to say ‘yeah, sure, why not’ but then taeil is walking up to the helpdesk, keys jangling on his belt and they both freeze, before turning around to look at him. 

he looks at them too, eyes darting between them before falling on the rotisserie chicken that’s still dangling from chenle’s upheld arms and he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath in and then walks right back where he came from. 

they both blink, trying to process what just happened but then chenle is shaking the chicken again and jisung has decided that yeah, he really does wanna feel how warm it is. 

by the time taeil comes back, they’ve progressed to poking at the chicken with one of the pens they’d found stuffed behind the till screen and jisung doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone look so done with their life as moon taeil does right now. 

his mouth opens and closes a couple of times, like he’s trying to figure out what the fuck to say to his two youngest members of staff, who are currently probing a chicken instead of facing aisle one like they should be but he clearly comes up blank because the silence continues. 

“jisung, i think i got the pen stuck,” chenle says, voice quiet and radiating awe as he stares at where he’d shoved his pen right inside the back of the chicken breast. 

“jesus fuck, where is taeyong when you need him?” taeil moans, looking like he regrets all of his life decisions that led him to taking this job and jisung relates. 

“he went upstairs with manager hyung,” jisung says, gaze already back on the now-impaled and half eaten chicken. he vaguely registers the sounds of taeil grunting and then walking off but he’s more interested in shoving more things inside of the chicken. 

chenle is too, if his question of “do you wanna see how much crap we can fit inside it before it bursts?” means anything. jisung smiles and nods and then operation stuff-the-chicken is a go. 


	2. paper boats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really like making paper boats out of left over receipts and giving them to my supervisor, even if my manager throws them in the bin at the end of my shift

“thank you, have a good day,” sicheng says, smiling as the customer leaves and he waves at the baby she’s carrying on her back. the baby gurgles and sicheng assumes that it’s just returning his pleasantries. babies are so cute. 

“hey sicheng, what’s this?” kun asks as he walks up to his till. he’s holding a little paper boat in his hand, with the words ‘ss qian’ written on the side. 

“it’s a boat,” he answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. kun laughs. 

“i know that dummy, i just meant where did it come from?”

sicheng’s head tilts in confusion. “i made it ge? do you not like it?”

“no, no it’s really cool sichengie. you can do origami?” he genuinely sounds impressed and it has sicheng blushing a little. 

“ah, well, the boat is the only thing i can actually make,” he answers, ducking his head a little. 

kun laughs again. “that explains why it’s so good then.”

“yeah, it’s been perfected over the years,” he jokes. “that’s probably the best one i’ve ever made though so you should probably keep it safe. as a monument of our,” he hesitates, “friendship.”

the smile he sends sicheng is blindingly bright and his heart beats a little faster in his chest. “i will protect it with my life.” he says it jokingly, but there’s a serious undertone to his voice and sicheng splutters to find a response. 

fortunately, a customer walks up to his till, effectively saving him from embarrassing himself and he throws himself into the transaction, greeting the man with a wide smile. 

-

the rest of the day practically flies by and soon enough it’s time to go home. sicheng couldn’t be more than ready to get out of this place and he basically runs upstairs and into the locker room, kicking off his work shoes and slipping his trainers on before running back downstairs. 

kun is already there, signing himself out in the workbook but when he presses the button it flashes red and both him and hansol sigh. 

“just empty your pockets, i really can’t be bothered to check your rucsac too,” hansol says, his voice tired. 

and that’s what kun does, emptying the contents of his fleece pockets onto the crates next to them and sicheng’s heart flutters a little when he sees his little paper boat amongst the clutter. hansol notices it too, and his brow creases. 

“why do you have a tiny paper boat in your pocket?”

“because i promised someone i’d keep it safe.”


	3. canine fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i shit u not (pun intended) this really did happen, a dog literally ran in, took a shit in seasonal and then ran off again. it was a wildt day

thursdays suck, donghyuck thinks absentmindedly as he sets up his stepladder. he’s halfway through his fith hour of work, with four still to go and he’s sick and tired of restocking the shelves.

he wasn’t even meant to be in today, but yuta had called in sick and apparently he was the only person who could cover the shift. i mean, it’s not all bad, because this is an extra 90000 won that he wasn’t expecting to have but donghyuck had planned on spending today powering through sidequests on final fantasy and he can’t help but fantasise about noctis as he fills the shelves with bleach.

he’s still daydreaming about his beloved ouji-sama when something brushes past the legs of his ladder and when he turns around he just about catches sight of the tail end of a dog as it runs out from his aisle and into the next. he doesn’t move at first, convincing himself that he’s just really tired from all the extra hours he’s been taking and he’s probably just imagining things but then he hears a child shout ‘mummy look at that dog’ and he runs.

it’s not hard to find the dog. unsurprisingly she’s made her way to the back of the store where the dog toys are located and she’s happily chewing on a squeaky sheep toy when donghyuck starts to approach her.

she’s a cute dog, a pitbull he thinks, all brown with a big white spot on herhead and if this were any other situation donghyuck would no doubt be on his knees, cooing about how she’s ‘ _such a cute girl’_. but unfortunately, store policy strictly prohibits any kind of dog bar medical ones being on the premises and donghyuck takes a big breath before taking the final step towards her.

she scrambles, because of course she does, running into the back strip of the store and donghyuck jogs after her as she goes, apologising to customers as he brushes past them. at this point, word has spread round the shop that there is infact a dog running wild in seasonal and donghyuck cracks a smile and shoots a thumbs up at renjun when he walks out from the warehouse just in time to watch him run past.

eventually she stops, coming to a standstill in garden and donghyuck is ready to reach for her collar and guide her out from the store when she leans back on her hind legs a little and, oh god, starts taking a shit, right there on the shop floor.

“c’mon dude. i though you were chill,” donghyuck sighs, shoulders slumping a little when she runs off again as soon as she’s finished. “renjun?”

“yeah?”

“can you go get me a couple wet floor signs please?”

renjun sighs. “okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> twt me @igbthyuck


End file.
